NaPoWriMo 2015 – Day 29

Today, our Cedar Bark Poets have been challenged to write a poem in the form of a review. You can review either animate or inanimate things, real places or imaginary places. You can write in the style of an online review (think Yelp) or something more formal that you might find in a newspaper or magazine. (I imagine that bad reviews of past boyfriends/girlfriends might be an easy way to get into this prompt, though really, you can “review” anything in your poem, from summer reading lists for third graders to the idea of the fourth dimension).

Submission #1

Post Event Debriefing

Nat’l poetry month party
Posters on walls-so arty
Free community event
Fun the only friendly intent
Neighbors attended
Perhaps some local loneliness amended
In a circle we sat,together
Shared much more then..
‘How’s the weather’
Voices soft,sincere,abrupt!
Even a child poetess,stood up!
Seed Bombs with poetry quotes
Rebel veg.gardens soon to sprout
Hand made Cedar frames given
To fill them up-our lives enlivened
Artwork and naming of trees
That one is Hilary,if you please.!
It felt good to be poets joined
The words,the works so carefully coined
How beautiful to hear new souls
Meet again literary goal.


Submission #2

Miracle nife

0 of 5 star
**ADD- learn to play guitar **
alright first off I’ll start this review by saying I should have been tipped off by the lack of a K
But I didn’t… so anyways
I just thought it an innocent typo at play

Where to start with this horrible kitchen device,
That has nearly ruined my cooking life

The jutting out handle rivet
Just messed up the cutting pivot
And speaking about the ‘handy’ pivot ball thing
It just rotates it away from what I want to cut! Just like a spring

This cut rate knock-off cutter
May soon be found thrown into the gutter

For the purchase was unplanned
And how I wish I’d just left them on the stand
My miracle nives
Which he assured me ‘will out last all of your cats lives’

But just like the one on TV it can supposedly cut through a hammer
He said as though it had the same TV glamour

The salesmen reminded me of a certain someone I knew
That really should have been my second clue
I’d give it half a star out of five
But I don’t think this knife could hack even the paper star cleanly in two
So I rate it zero, despite all the assurances that I’d been given that this knife would be my hero

And the only thing worse then this ‘nife’
Is the fact that I got cursed with it twice

The only thing I could thing of, and would have made a big stink of, is that at least I didn’t get three.
No, I don’t need a knife that can cut down a tree
Or allegedly part the seven seas
Nor have an imitation imitation stage horn handle, or about the storage pouch have a half page to ramble, or take a blow torch to get it from the packaging free
Please take back both of them
For nothing but problems from them stems
For a nife will bring nothing but strife to your life
Take my advice, and even after this rambling review I think I can be concise

Don’t by the dangd ‘nife’!

-W. B.

**Buy now = nife only £6.62, act now and we’ll throw in not only a second nife but also a free Lemon zetter
Special offer for ONLY £13.24 get two
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